Several years ago, I was shopping with my mom and sisters at the mall. I had Cooper and Ella Kate with me. They were 1, and 3. If you know anything about kids, you know those are super fun, but challenging ages. Anyways, I was trying to get Christmas shopping done, and it wasn’t going well. AT ALL. I had my double stroller, but for some reason nobody wanted to ride in it! Both kids wanted to be carried… then they wanted to walk. They were hungry, and tired, and I was getting extremely frustrated. I looked at my mom and said, “What in the world am I supposed to do?” She looked back at me with her wisdom and said, “Just lower your expectations.”

See, all this time I expected my kids to behave perfectly, and act like adults, when in fact they were just little toddlers. I had been expecting them to sit, and wait patiently for hours and hours while I tried to shop. My expectations for that night were too high!

So many times, we have expectations for how things will go with our kids. We have unrealistic expectations and high standards of perfection that even we can’t reach! We want things to go exactly how we want them to go with no regard for the reality of the situation.

Okay, it’s time for church. Sit still, don’t move, and pay attention for over an hour.

Okay, it’s time to take 427 family photos. Smile for every single one, and be still!

Okay, it’s time to go to the grocery store. Sit in this cart, and don’t ask for anything!

The reality is – they’re children. They’re going to act like children. Sometimes we put them in situations we know are going to be hard on them. Discipline, of course has it’s place, but facts are facts.

I’ve found that when I go into a situation expecting a lot, I typically come out of it disappointed. I’m not saying you should go into every situation with your kids expecting everything to be horrible, BUT go into your situation deciding that however it turns out, you’re going to handle it with patience and grace.

I let my children’s impatience ruin my night, but I’ve learned over the years that there are some ways we can combat those difficult situations. These few things are KEY.

1. Prepare

Prepare ahead of time. If you know you’ll be somewhere with your kids for a long time, bring snacks. Bring a few activities for them to do. Plan to make a small portion of your time specifically for them.

2. Slow Down

Our society is so fast paced! I find myself trying to keep up, but the truth is, the faster I try to do things, the more stressed I become. Especially with three children… I’ve learned that instead of trying to hurry up, if I take my time, listen to their needs, and take a second to assess the situation, things go so much smoother!

3. Put Yourself in their Shoes

Sometimes when I’m frustrated with my kids for not doing exactly what I need them to do, I imagine myself in their shoes. They’re still little and don’t see the bigger picture like we do. They’re still learning how to behave, and learning how to act in the world.

I expect my children to behave a certain way, and I do my best to train them… but in the same way we are supposed to avoid temptation in our lives, I think sometimes we force our kids into misbehavior. We expect them to be something that they are simply incapable of being.

Once we lower our expectations, we can learn where we need to improve in teaching them, and teach them how to handle life! After all, isn’t that why God gave them to us? He wants us to train them! Let’s do it the right way. Let’s lower our expectations, in faith knowing that one day, our training will pay off. If our parenting is done well, God will far exceed any expectation we ever had for our babies.